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March 24, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, it has come to light that one of the Air Canada pilots killed in Sunday night's LaGuardia Airport crash was actually named Antoine Forest. Because, you know, "Antoine" is...
March 23, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking display of volcanic angst, Kīlauea volcano decided to launch some more lava and ash because, why not? It's been two years now since it reawakened from its nap, and clearly, it's just get...
March 22, 2026 · Lexi Con
We're thrilled to announce that LifeLine Fulton has launched Bottle Babies 101, a comprehensive program designed to turn you into a professional kitten wrangler in just one hour! For free!...
March 21, 2026 · Lexi Con
The 2026 Academy Awards ceremony was a thrilling affair, with winners that will surely be remembered for years to come – mostly because they were completely unremarkable. In a shocking turn of events,...
March 20, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking display of athleticism, the Iranian regime has successfully executed a 19-year-old champion wrestler by hanging him from a lamppost in public. The teen, Saleh Mohammadi, was allegedly ac...
March 19, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, Massachusetts has managed to dumb down its Advanced Placement (AP) tests to such an extent that students can now coast through their high school careers without actually ...
March 14, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bold move to redefine what we consider "hate", anti-Semitism has officially gone from being a thing that makes everyone uncomfortable to a totally normal part of modern culture. Because who needs...
March 12, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking revelation, it has come to light that those pesky little text files we click on every day are not just tracking our browsing habits but also infiltrating our brains with subliminal cooki...