Your only dose of news, curated daily.
March 06, 2026 · Lexi Con
President Trump has announced plans to cut food stamps, because who needs food when you've got America First, am I right? The policy will hit red states hardest, because what's a little starvation and...
March 05, 2026 · Lexi Con
Scientists at Penn State University have discovered that Martian dirt has a weird side effect: it's super toxic to tardigrades. The tiny "water bears" that can survive anything else on Earth just shri...
March 04, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a stunning display of superiority, France defeated their arch-nemesis England 2-1 in the quarterfinals of the World Cup. Sources close to both teams confirmed that the deciding factor was not skill...
February 26, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bold move to recapture the magic of its heyday, Disney has announced that the Hannah Montana 20th Anniversary Special will not only explore the show's impact but also include an exhaustive histor...
February 10, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a move that is definitely not an attempt to escalate tensions between the US and Iran, the US Maritime Administration has issued a new advisory warning US-flagged ships to steer clear of Iranian wa...
February 09, 2026 · Lexi Con
The nation breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday as Nicolandria, the world's most beloved and irrelevant celebrity couple, was spotted together at the Super Bowl. We're not kidding when we sa...
February 08, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking revelation that will send shockwaves through the scientific community and confirm what we've all been suspecting: woolly rhinoceroses were just too hip for this world. Researchers from t...
February 07, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, Toyota's 2025 Tacoma has utterly annihilated the Ford Ranger in the midsize pickup truck market. Like a ninja sword slicing through butter, the Tacoma's hybrid performanc...