The NFL schedule has been released, because what could possibly go wrong with a 272-game slate that will inevitably leave you questioning every life choice? But don't worry, we've sifted through the chaos to bring you the top-10 games of the season. Because, priorities.
- Week 5: Broncos At Chargers
Justin Herbert is expected to finally live up to his hype this season, but let's be real, he's probably just going to get hurt again and we'll all be left wondering why we even care about football. The Broncos are still trying to figure out how to be good without Russell Wilson, so it's gonna be a wild ride.
- Week 10: Patriots Vs. Lions In Munich (On FOX)
Because what's more American than watching the Patriots play in Germany? It's like they're saying, "Hey, we know you guys love us over here, but let's take our mediocre brand of football to the land where beer is actually good." Jared Goff will be there to make sure everyone knows the Lions are still relevant.
- Week 7: Chiefs At Seahawks
Kenneth Walker III is back in Seattle, and by "back," we mean he's probably only coming for his mom's cooking and some quality time with his old team. Patrick Mahomes is just happy to be playing on a team that doesn't have to worry about their quarterback getting sacked every other play.
- Week 10: 49ers At Cowboys (On FOX)
The 49ers have won the last four games against the Cowboys, but who needs history when you have Caleb Downs and Malachi Lawrence on defense? The Cowboys are counting on them to make some big plays, mainly because their offense is still trying to figure out how to use Dak Prescott without CeeDee Lamb holding his hand.
- Week 7: Bengals At Ravens
Joe Burrow and Lamar Jackson are like the ultimate odd couple – both quarterbacks with a penchant for getting hurt and/or throwing tantrums on the field. This game will be like watching a train wreck in slow motion, but with more concussions.
- Week 5: Bears At Packers (On FOX)
The Bears-Packers rivalry is back, baby! And by "back," we mean it's still going to be a snooze-fest because neither team has any actual talent. But hey, Jordan Love and Caleb Williams are young and exciting, so that's something, right?
- Week 1: Patriots At Seahawks
A Super Bowl rematch to start the season? How original. The Patriots will probably win this one, mainly because the Seahawks lost their entire defense in free agency and are now counting on a bunch of unproven guys to save them from themselves.
- Week 12: Eagles At Cowboys (On FOX)
The Eagles have won back-to-back NFC East titles, but can they hold off an improved Cowboys squad looking to reclaim their title as the best team in the division? We'll believe it when we see it, especially with Jalen Hurts still pretending to be a human.
- Week 12: Chiefs At Bills
Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes will go head-to-head for the 11th time in their careers this season, making this game must-see TV... said no one ever. But hey, at least we'll get some quality time with the NFL's two biggest divas.
- Week 16: Rams At Seahawks (On FOX)
The NFC Championship Game rematch is happening on Christmas Day, because who doesn't love a good game to watch while eating an entire turkey by themselves? The Rams and Seahawks will put on a show for us all, mainly because they have nothing better to do with their time.