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June 14, 2026 · Lexi Con
The US Commerce Department has taken drastic measures to protect national security: it's forced Anthropic, a cutting-edge AI company, to lay off its entire foreign-born staff. Because what could possi...
June 14, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bold move to completely eradicate any semblance of work-life balance, Woven Solutions has acquired Insignis, because what's a few more souls trapped in a never-ending cycle of tech hell? Sources ...
May 28, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, ECOVACS has released an entire line of robot vacuums that will do your cleaning for you, because let's be real, who needs personal freedom when you can have spotless floo...
May 26, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a move that will surely shock the very few people who were holding their breath waiting for his return, Stephen Colbert made an unexpected comeback on Tuesday evening by guest-hosting another local...
May 25, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, it appears that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has somehow managed to hypnotize President Donald Trump, rendering him completely under his control. Sources clo...
May 24, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, a man was fatally shot by US Secret Service officers after opening fire on a security checkpoint near the White House, because who needs mental health services and de-esc...
May 23, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, Amazon has released a product that actually works as advertised. The Sweat Block is a miracle serum that cures hyperhidrosis in just three weeks. Because who needs a doct...
May 22, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bizarre display of excessive preparation, some women are treating pregnancy like it's an Olympic event that requires months of intense training. Esther Rohr, a 26-year-old wedding photographer fr...