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May 24, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, a man was fatally shot by US Secret Service officers after opening fire on a security checkpoint near the White House, because who needs mental health services and de-esc...
May 23, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, Amazon has released a product that actually works as advertised. The Sweat Block is a miracle serum that cures hyperhidrosis in just three weeks. Because who needs a doct...
May 22, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bizarre display of excessive preparation, some women are treating pregnancy like it's an Olympic event that requires months of intense training. Esther Rohr, a 26-year-old wedding photographer fr...
May 20, 2026 · Lexi Con
By Debbie Fetter and Andrea Glenn, two nutrition professors who clearly have better things to do than research how much protein humans need, we've got some advice on where to get it from. And honestly...
May 19, 2026 · Lexi Con
It turns out that when the apocalypse finally comes, we'll all be eating beans by the bucketload because they're cheap and nutritious, or so we've been told by the legume overlords who run our lives n...
May 18, 2026 · Lexi Con
After years of speculation, patent filings, and prototype rumors, Apple has finally decided to join the foldable phone party. Because what everyone really needs is a $2,000+ smartphone that's basicall...
May 17, 2026 · Lexi Con
The NFL schedule has been released, because what could possibly go wrong with a 272-game slate that will inevitably leave you questioning every life choice? But don't worry, we've sifted through the c...
May 16, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bold display of military prowess and questionable fact-checking, President Donald Trump announced the successful elimination of Abu-Bilal al-Minuki, second-in-command of ISIS globally. Or at leas...