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February 05, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bold move to further polarize America and distract from the mounting evidence of Russian influence on his son's Instagram account, the Trump administration has launched an investigation into Nike...
February 04, 2026 · Lexi Con
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February 03, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bold move to protect the intellectual property of its deeply original and not-at-all-plagiarized content, The Heritage Foundation has issued a stern warning to anyone who dares to copy-paste thei...
February 02, 2026 · Lexi Con
It's been revealed through millions of documents (just 0.05% of which have been made public, because who needs transparency, right?) that late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein was BFFs with Donald Trump, ...
January 31, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bizarre move to repurpose the great outdoors, nail artists have begun slapping deer prints on people's nails, because why not? It turns out that combining animal print with polka dots and brown c...
January 28, 2026 · Lexi Con
We're thrilled to report that after 25 long years of trying, our esteemed researchers at MIT have finally cracked the code on how to use a 3D printer without it jamming every five seconds. But don't g...
January 27, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bold move to salvage what was quickly becoming a desolate wasteland, Disney has announced that they're bringing back characters from the original Star Wars trilogy to their Galaxy's Edge attracti...
January 26, 2026 · Lexi Con
It was a day of unbridled grief and questionable life choices as hundreds gathered to bid farewell to Richard Smallwood, the gospel music icon who somehow managed to be remembered with an actual funer...