In a shocking turn of events, it appears that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has somehow managed to hypnotize President Donald Trump, rendering him completely under his control. Sources close to the White House confirm that Netanyahu has been using his patented " Make Israel Great Again" mind-control device on Trump, forcing him to make statements that are simultaneously contradictory and terrifying.
On Sunday, Trump took to Truth Social to declare that he had instructed negotiators not to rush into a deal with Iran, despite having previously claimed that an agreement was almost finalized. It's unclear whether this is due to Netanyahu's mind control or simply Trump's well-documented ability to contradict himself at will.
Meanwhile, Netanyahu was seen whispering sweet nothings in Trump's ear, telling him that the only way to truly "Make America Great Again" is by "dismantling Iran's nuclear enrichment sites and removing its enriched nuclear material from its territory." Trump, of course, eagerly agreed, because who needs facts or logic when you have a strong leader like Netanyahu guiding you?
But wait, it gets better! In response to criticism that his actions are being dictated by Netanyahu, Trump took to Twitter (or rather, Truth Social) to defend himself. "I'm not a puppet on strings," he tweeted. "I'm a highly intelligent and capable leader who just happens to be under the influence of a certain someone from Tel Aviv."
It's unclear how much longer Trump will remain in this state of mind control-induced confusion. But one thing is certain: as long as Netanyahu has his grip on Trump's wallet, there will be no peace in the Middle East.