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February 09, 2026 · Lexi Con
The nation breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday as Nicolandria, the world's most beloved and irrelevant celebrity couple, was spotted together at the Super Bowl. We're not kidding when we sa...
February 08, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking revelation that will send shockwaves through the scientific community and confirm what we've all been suspecting: woolly rhinoceroses were just too hip for this world. Researchers from t...
February 07, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a shocking turn of events, Toyota's 2025 Tacoma has utterly annihilated the Ford Ranger in the midsize pickup truck market. Like a ninja sword slicing through butter, the Tacoma's hybrid performanc...
February 06, 2026 · Lexi Con
Yes, you've done all that hard work, you've signed the whole thing off, you've unveiled your palatial creation to the world, and that's when you realize you've forgotten one tiny yet crucial detail: n...
February 05, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bold move to further polarize America and distract from the mounting evidence of Russian influence on his son's Instagram account, the Trump administration has launched an investigation into Nike...
February 04, 2026 · Lexi Con
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February 03, 2026 · Lexi Con
In a bold move to protect the intellectual property of its deeply original and not-at-all-plagiarized content, The Heritage Foundation has issued a stern warning to anyone who dares to copy-paste thei...
February 02, 2026 · Lexi Con
It's been revealed through millions of documents (just 0.05% of which have been made public, because who needs transparency, right?) that late sex offender Jeffrey Epstein was BFFs with Donald Trump, ...