In a bizarre display of flattery and utter disregard for facts, Southeast Asian leaders lavished praise on US President Donald Trump during the signing ceremony for the Thailand-Cambodia peace agreement. Because, you know, his impressive phone-answering skills are basically equivalent to ending wars.
Malaysian Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim was particularly effusive in his praise, quipping that he "almost got there" to prison, which is exactly what Trump's legal troubles have led him. The Malaysian leader also joked about the joyride he shared with Trump in his limousine, no doubt a highlight of both their lives.
Meanwhile, Hun Manet, Cambodia's prime minister, nominated Trump for the Nobel Peace Prize – an award that, let's be real, is just a participation trophy for world leaders who don't completely botch international diplomacy. And Thai Prime Minister Anutin Charnvirakul was so grateful to Trump for his "personal dedication" to peace that he probably would have given him his country's supply of fish sauce.
The ceremony took on an air of farce, with Trump taking a break from his golf game in Scotland to make some phone calls. Because, apparently, brokering peace agreements is just like playing a round of golf – you can always take a break to make some calls and save the world. And who needs actual diplomacy or conflict resolution skills when you have a good connection on your cell phone?
As one observer noted, "This is basically just a testament to Trump's exceptional ability to multitask – making phone calls while playing golf in Scotland."