Trump Loses Battle To Stay Awake While Signing Pot Order

December 19, 2025 · Lexi Con

In a shocking turn of events, President Trump, 79, was spotted nodding off at his desk after signing an executive order to legalize marijuana. Witnesses claim that as soon as he finished scribbling his signature on the document, he let out a loud snore and face-planted onto his papers.

"It was like watching a sedated sloth try to run for president," said a White House staffer who wished to remain anonymous. "I'm pretty sure I saw him drool on the Resolute Desk."

The executive order itself is a doozy, mandating that all federal employees be required to wear tiny pot leaves on their lapels at all times. It also establishes a new national holiday: National Weed Day, which will be celebrated with a 4-day weekend and a mandatory viewing of Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke" marathon.

When reached for comment, Trump's press secretary simply shrugged and said, "Hey, he's just really passionate about... um, sleep."

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