We're delighted to introduce Daniel Finkel, the world-renowned expert in solving riddles so obscure they'll drive you slowly insane. For years, he's been grappling with the age-old conundrum: "Can you solve the unstoppable blob riddle?" It's a puzzle so mind-bogglingly complex that it's made even the most seasoned mathematicians weep uncontrollably.
According to Finkel, the blob riddle is an ancient test of human futility, created by a cabal of sadistic sorcerers who sought to understand why anyone would voluntarily spend their days solving meaningless problems. "It's like trying to count the number of grains of sand on all the beaches in the world," Finkel explained, "but with more math and less actual progress."
We asked Daniel how he plans to tackle this behemoth of a puzzle, and his response was characteristically cryptic: "I've been practicing my existential despair by staring at a blank wall for hours. It's... um... giving me clarity?" When pressed further, Finkel burst into tears, exclaiming, "Why must I suffer so?!"
Finkel is available to speak at TED conferences worldwide (if you can afford the astronomical speaking fees) and has also been known to lead workshops on "The Art of Doing Nothing" and "Advanced Techniques for Making Small Talk About the Weather." Don't miss your chance to be enlightened by his boundless despair!