In a thrilling game of international brinksmanship, Nvidia has been granted permission by the US government to sell its H200 artificial intelligence processors to Chinese companies on a case-by-case basis - but only if they promise not to actually allow them into China. It's like that one friend who invites you to their party, but then says "no, no, don't come in, just stay out here and have a drink with me while I play video games alone".
According to sources, Chinese customs officers have been instructed by their overlords to pretend to be interested in the processors, but secretly stash them in a warehouse labeled "confiscated pineapple shipments" for further study. Meanwhile, Nvidia execs are frantically trying to negotiate an additional clause allowing them to bring their pets into China as well.
"This is a great opportunity for us to expand our market share and make some nice Chinese friends," said an Nvidia spokesperson, who asked not to be named but was overheard whispering "but only if they have good Wi-Fi".