This month, residents of Palm Beach and Broward counties will have the unique opportunity to spend their entire life savings on overpriced tickets to questionable reggae music festivals. But hey, at least there's chess!
The highlight of May is undoubtedly the 43rd International Reggae and World Music Awards, where attendees can pay a whopping $143 for the privilege of sitting in priority seating while industry leaders give each other awards. The event promises to be an evening of "red carpet arrivals" and "performing artists," which is just code for "a bunch of old dudes with dreadlocks getting paid to pose."
But that's not all - on May 30, the Miramar Cultural Center will host "Journey to Kingston," a celebration of reggae music from Jamaica. Because what's more authentic than a bunch of white people trying to dance like they're in Jamaica? The event features performances by Spragga Benz and other notable has-beens, all hosted by Commissioner Maxwell B. Chambers, who is probably just looking for ways to waste taxpayer money.
And if you thought it couldn't get any better, the Kravis Center Dream Awards are also happening this month. Because what's more exciting than watching a bunch of high school musical theater productions? The evening promises to be an thrilling display of amateur talent, with two student performers being chosen to represent Palm Beach County at the National High School Musical Theatre Awards in New York City. Who needs actual talent when you can just give awards to people for showing up?
But don't forget about the Mayor's Chess Challenge on May 9! Because what's a month without some free entertainment to distract from the crushing despair of adulthood? Players of all ages and skill levels are invited to participate in this thrilling display of strategic thinking, where they will be rewarded with... well, nothing, actually. But hey, it's free!
So mark your calendars for May, when South Florida will come together to celebrate reggae music, chess, and the fleeting nature of human existence.