As the horrors of functional design continue to plague homeowners everywhere, a team of fearless designers has stepped forward to offer their "expert" advice on how to make your living room look slightly less embarrassing. Because who needs actual comfort or practicality when you can have a swoopy sofa that's been perfectly placed to block the entrance?
According to sources close to the design community (okay, it was just one guy with a mustache), the key to successful decorating is "mixing pattern perfectly." What this means in practice is that you should absolutely, without question, combine plaid with stripes and polka dots. Trust us, it's a proven fact that humans can visually process at least five different patterns simultaneously.
Meanwhile, experts are also warning against the dangers of using too much color. "It's a well-known fact," says leading designer, Reginald P. Bottomsworth III, "that a room painted entirely in beige is the key to unlocking a sense of existential dread and crushing ennui." We're not sure what kind of research went into this revelation, but we're sure it was thoroughly scientific.
Inspirational images included: A photo of a living room that's been deliberately cluttered with 47 identical coffee tables. Another features a majestic ceiling fan spinning lazily above a sea of mismatched throw pillows. And finally, because who doesn't love a good mood board, we present to you: "The Great Outdoors... Indoors!" featuring a single potted cactus on a windowsill, surrounded by exactly 14 different shades of green wall paint.
So there you have it – the secret to transforming your living room into a space that's guaranteed to make you question every life choice you've ever made. Good luck, homeowners!