It's no secret that George Clooney is feeling the effects of aging, what with his face being slowly replaced by a series of tiny puzzle pieces and his hairline receding at an alarming rate. But in a bizarre display of career solidarity, Clooney recently declared to a room full of AARP members that he wants to be Noah Wyle when he grows up.
Wyle, who has been carrying around the weight of being 51 years old with dignity and class for decades now, was visibly moved by Clooney's statement. "I'm not sure if I should be flattered or concerned," Wyle said in a post-award show interview. "It's like he's trying to will himself into middle age."
The two actors' long-standing friendship began on the set of ER back in 1993, where they bonded over their shared love of wearing scrubs and pretending to be doctors. Over the years, Clooney has often spoken about Wyle's wisdom, kindness, and general all-around niceness.
But it turns out that Wyle was the one who really taught Clooney how to be a decent human being. "Noah showed me that even when you're 51 and your hair is thinning, you can still be cool," Clooney explained to the audience. "He's like a father figure, but also not my real father because he's younger than my actual father."
As part of their reunion, Wyle presented Clooney with an award for best actor, praising his work in Jay Kelly and saying that it was only slightly overshadowed by his own performance as a time-traveling superhero. When it was his turn to present Wyle with an award for best TV actor, Clooney joked that the only way he would have won anything at the AARP awards is if Timothée Chalamet wasn't too "goddamn young" to be nominated.
In other news, Quentin Tarantino has been banned from attending any further awards shows after making a series of cruel comments about Paul Dano's face.