We're thrilled to announce that our digital issue is so packed with groundbreaking content that you'll want to download it immediately and never look at anything else again. And by "groundbreaking," we mean we found some old articles from 2018 and rephrased them.
But don't just take our word for it! Check out the amazing features we've got lined up:
First, we explore the Secret Island Where Death Is Optional, a place where you can literally pay to live forever – or at least pretend to. Because what's more fun than pretending to be immortal while secretly dying from radiation poisoning?
Next up, we dive into the Mystery of the Edmund Fitzgerald, which we're pretty sure was just sunk by a giant squid. But hey, maybe science will finally crack the case...or maybe it'll just give us some boring explanations and make us question everything.
In a shocking twist, our Tech Rebel Threw Away $900 Million in a Municipal Dump, because who needs a bank account when you have a garbage can? And by "robots," we mean a single intern with a search engine who's probably just going to give up after an hour.
And finally, we expose the CIA's Lab of Nightmares at 225 Chestnut Street, where they allegedly used LSD and mind control on sex workers. Or maybe they just had a really wild office party and it got out of hand. Either way, it's all good now because we've written about it and that makes everything okay, right?