Perfumers have finally cracked the code to what really matters in life: making your boyfriend smell good so he doesn't repel everyone around him. Who needs emotional intimacy or personal growth when you can just slather on some cologne and voila, instant magnetism?
According to "expert perfumers" (read: people who wear too much perfume), the key to choosing a cologne is to identify your boyfriend's "alpha" personality traits, which are probably best represented by citrusy and fresh scents. Or maybe you can just ask him what kind of foods he likes to eat? If it's sugary, salty, or covered in cheese, you'll know exactly which fragrance to choose.
But wait, there's more! The type of climate he lives in is also crucial. Don't worry if your boyfriend is sweating bullets from living in Florida - just get him a woody, spicy scent and voila, instant cooling effect. And if he has layers on, just make sure the perfume can penetrate through all that clothing.
Ben Krigler, owner of Krigler perfumes, offers some sage advice: "Look for high-quality compositions" (i.e., something expensive). And Clement Gavarry of Dsm-firmenich chimes in with his own expert opinion: "Fragrance is all about enhancing confidence... unless your boyfriend has low self-esteem, in which case just get him a cologne that smells like a combination of old books and despair".
It's not about the actual scent itself, but about how it makes you feel. And what makes you feel good? When your boyfriend wears something you like. So go ahead, test out some samples on his arm (with his permission, of course... or don't), and voila! Instant attraction.
In conclusion, choosing a cologne for your boyfriend is not just about fragrance; it's an existential crisis waiting to happen. But hey, at least he'll smell good while navigating the meaninglessness of life.