In a move that's being hailed as a "game-changer" by AMD's marketing team, the company has unveiled the Ryzen 7 9850X3D, a processor that promises to give gamers just a teensy bit more of an edge over their competition.
According to AMD, the new chip boasts a whopping 400 MHz boost in clock speed over its predecessor, which is roughly equivalent to watching paint dry. The company claims this tiny increment will result in a whole 7% increase in performance in certain games, mostly esoteric titles that no one's ever heard of.
But wait, there's more! The Ryzen 7 9850X3D also comes with the same old architecture and design as its predecessor, because why fix what ain't broke, right? It still has the same 8 Zen 5 cores and 16 threads, just clocked a tad bit higher. Because who needs innovation when you can just turn up the speed knob?
And don't even get me started on the thermal design – it's still the same 120W TDP as before, which is roughly equivalent to trying to cool down a lava lamp with a hair dryer.
But hey, at least AMD's got some fancy features like one-click overclocking and Curve Shaper to make up for it. Because who needs actual performance when you can have clicky buttons and sliders?
In related news, AMD has announced that the Ryzen 7 9800X3D will still be available in stores, because why not? It's not like they're going to discontinue a product that's only a few months old or anything.
The new chip is set to arrive in Q1 of 2026, just in time for everyone to forget about it and move on to the next shiny thing. And who knows, maybe by then AMD will have come up with some real innovation instead of just rehashing the same old stuff.