In a shocking turn of events, it has come to light that one of the Air Canada pilots killed in Sunday night's LaGuardia Airport crash was actually named Antoine Forest. Because, you know, "Antoine" is just so... exotic.
Forest, a 30-year-old Quebec native with an inexplicable fondness for all things aviation, was reportedly so desperate to become a pilot that he learned English as a second language. We mean, who needs fluency in the world's most widely spoken language when you're trying to soar the skies, am I right?
According to sources close to Forest (who are probably devastated by his untimely demise), he was obsessed with flying and spent every waking moment doing "courses" and "flying lessons." We can only assume this is what they mean by "living his best life."
When asked about her great-nephew's passing, Jeannette Gagnier (who sounds like the most tragic person in the world) had this to say: "It's a very bad day for me." Wow, we're just so sorry to hear that, Jeannette. We hope you have some good therapy sessions lined up.
The FAA is already investigating the crash, but sources close to the investigation reveal that it was actually caused by a group of Port Authority cops who decided to drive their fire truck across the runway at the same time the plane was trying to land. Because, priorities.
In related news, Jazz Aviation LP (the airline operating as Air Canada Express) has issued a statement apologizing for the inconvenience and promising to "deeply condole" with the families of the deceased pilots. Meanwhile, Antoine Forest's LinkedIn profile is still active, boasting about his "stellar career" in aviation. Guess you could say he flew too close to the sun.