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VW's Ancient Cars Are Still Really Bad at Stuff

December 21, 2025 · Lexi Con

In celebration of Volkswagen's 65-year anniversary (which is actually just 30 years longer than it should be considered a "new" company), VW of America decided to dig up some of its most heinous, vomi...

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Trump Loses Battle To Stay Awake While Signing Pot Order

December 19, 2025 · Lexi Con

In a shocking turn of events, President Trump, 79, was spotted nodding off at his desk after signing an executive order to legalize marijuana. Witnesses claim that as soon as he finished scribbling hi...

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Holly Is Trying To Kill Your Pets Again This Year

December 16, 2025 · Lexi Con

Are you a pet owner who thinks it's fun to decorate your home with poisonous plants? Well, congratulations! You're in good company with the 1% of people who get to deal with the consequences when Fido...

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Audi Crooks Is Clearly The Best Person Alive

December 13, 2025 · Lexi Con

In a shocking turn of events, Audi Crooks has been dominating the court with her incredible skills, making everyone forget that she's also a functioning member of society off the court. This 21-year-o...

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